Frustration

Today was church - I love being at my new church.  It has a great feeling about it.  I love that our pastors are around and always hanging out with people.  I love that there are some amazing parents who really love their kids.  I do get sad/frustrated/worn-out at times.  You see, our children's department is experiencing some growth - at least growth in the amount of children they have - not so much growth in the amount of helpers they have.  I have a model of ministry I believe in - it is some sort of a compilation between the values that were instilled in me at friends and the model children's worker of EGM.  All I know though is that the majority of those values are violated in so many ways during one of the Sunday Mornings that I have at my new church - it kills me!  I want to be able to lead experiential activities, I want the children to go home knowing the main idea of the lesson, not just the story.  (Although I am not even sure that was accomplished today)  I want the children to go home having responded to that real life truth, after a great real life discussion.  None of which were accomplished today.  I want to be safety conscious - to always have two adults in the room and not send children to the bathroom with just one other teacher.  I want to be relational and have the ability to be with the children rather than put out fires.   I want to have fun with the kids and really connect with the parents.  All of these things I want to be able to do.  Yet, with only one of me and 16 kids, those things just can't happen.  In the meant time I will continue to pray that more people will step up to fulfill these important roles in the lives of these amazing kids!

Why am I here?

Have you ever had one of those brief moments that jolts you out of your normally accepted life and puts you immediately into questioning what you are doing and why you are doing it?  I had prayed earlier this week because there is a huge part of me that misses living in Orange county, being with my family, being with my friends, etc.  so I had prayed that God would continue to move in me, showing me what I am doing and why I am here.  

Then tonight, I got a call...  The call made me really question why I am where I am.  I definitely feel as though God has called me to the place I am at.  That somehow this is for His glory and for my healing and sanctification.  He has given me many things out here that I had been longing for, for years.  So, as much as I want to disappear back out to the OC - I know that God is not done with me in this desert.  

I decided I would write out some of the things that I know God has called me to here.  

1.  I love the mission/vision/values of EGM.  I am not sure that I could be more aligned if I had written them myself.

2.  I love what I am doing.  There are many times when it is hard (just like every job) but God has called me to the world, not locally, and I can't deny that.

3.  I love the people I work with.  They have become family.  

4.  I love my church.  I really want to get involved and even more plugged in there.

5.  I know that God isn't calling me out yet.  He has a plan for my life out here that is clearly evident and I know that it is not time to turn-tail and run.  (As much as I would love to do that)

So, I don't know what is in store in a year and a half, for that will be when I am done with the big project I am working on.  There is a part of me I think that will always look for a way back to Orange County-to hope that around that time I get a similar phone call, but for now I am here.  Even then, I pray that God will direct me to be where he wants me to be and that He will grant me the grace to accept whatever place that is.  

Exhaustion

So, Sabrina is finally home.  Which is a great thing, but the bad thing is that they still don't know what is going on.  So, we are just hoping that whatever it was doesn't come back.

On the other side of life, the past few weeks have completely worn out myself and my family.  We (especially my mom, dad, and I) are pretty wiped out.  I can't remember when it was when I felt so exhausted last time.  So, pray that we will all get some rest and recover.  

Day Four part 2

Just talked to my mom, (I left around noon today).  She says that Sabrina is eating well and is doing a lot better, her pain is down.  The dr. came by and said that they are going to observe her overnight and wait to see what to do next.  

I am hoping that she will be fine, but I am also worried that they have not figured out what caused all of this in the first place.  Pray for wisdom for the Dr's and healing for Sabrina - I will update tomorrow once I get word.

Day four

This morning Sabrina had her colonoscopy. The doctor looked hard and took a couple samples just to be sure, but he said everything looked fine. According to the doctors yesterday, the next step is to do exploratory laprascopy. So far we haven't talked to her specialist today to figure out if that is still the case and if yes, when the surgery will be.

Right now she is in pain and sleeping, they had to use a lot of drugs to sedate her, apparently she has a high tolerance to the meds.

Sister Update

For any of you following along who would like a more detailed accounting, here it is.

I came to the hospital this afternoon (after a 24 hour hiatus) and relieved my mom. Since I have been here the GI doctor came asked a bunch of questions and ordered a colonoscopy tomorrow morning (pray for the prep for that as my sis is not looking forward to that!) Ruling out the colon as the problem. As they are worried about the endometriosis having spread to the colon or a possibility of crohn's disease.

Then we saw her endometriosis specialist. He went in search of her ultrasound results from this morning and then disappeared, so still no word from him. If the colon comes back clean, then it will be up to this guy to figure out what to do next.

Pray for peace for my family as we try to discover what the problem is. Pray for God's intervention in the mean time. Pray that the pain will subside and that she will be able to keep food down.

Pray for my sis

So, last week, my grandma was admitted to the hospital. After a few days of antibiotics and a couple of blood transfusions, she was released wednesday. She has been to a couple of follow up Dr's appointments and they think she may have a bleeding ulcer. Anyway, that is what transpired last week.
Last night my mom found my sister passed out in the hallway - she did not wake up right away, my mom had to shake her and yell her name to get her to wake up. Then she took her to the ER and while they were waiting she passed out again. They took her straight back and after they gave her a pain shot she "woke up" this time she panicked b/c she did not remember going to the ER room - she did not know how she got there, even though she was technically "awake" while my mom drove her and had even talked to the Docs while she was there. Anyway, they gave her the pain meds and released her. (Dumb doctors)
Today, she tried to get into her specialist, but couldn't so she went into see our general doc in the late afternoon. He checked her out and decided to admit her to the hospital, I think to control the pain tonight, moniter her, and most importantly run a whole gamment of tests tomorrow. Pray for her, pray for our family as my mom is still worn out from the grandma thing (her mom) and now my sis is in the hospital. Pray that they will soon figure out what is wrong.

The Revelation

Today I was driving home from the OC.  I got to thinking about all of the pain and sorrow in our world.  I was listening to my music and being amazed at the great hills covered in wild mustard, which make them look neon yellow.  I was just thinking for some reason about how great it would be for Christ to come at that moment.  I began longing for the Revelation Christ.  The tattooed, sword yielding, horse riding Christ who would come and rid the world of this darkness called sin.  The darkness of death, the darkness of pain and sorrow.  I longed for the Christ to come.  For God to be with us yet again, but not as a donkey riding humble servant, but as the ruler of the world.  The conquerer of this darkness.  The verse came to mind, "The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom."  I fear that Christ.  I am in awe of him, with the trumpets and the bowls and the scrolls.  I want to be ready for that Jesus.  

Anger Management

I watched "Anger Management" today.  I had never seen it before.  I enjoyed it.  The whole chaos of it was hilarious and then the ending was great.  However, if someone ever did that to me, I think that I would not propose to them, I would not talk to them anymore.  Just so you all know!

A very loud Hamster!

I have a hamster.  I love him very much.  He hangs out in his cage and is always very busy.  We had many hamsters as children and I have never known one as busy as Cody.  Right now, he is playing with his food.  He is crunching and moving it around and it seriously sounds like someone is walking through crunchy leaves.  He is also a very loud drinker.  In general Cody terrorizes poor annabelle - the pomeranian that lives here.  Annabelle is a scaredy cat and any unknown sounds freak her out.  She also hates balls in general (unless they are very small) and when Cody is in his hamster ball, poor Annabelle runs for cover.   

Critical Observation

Today was a long day - I met part of the children's team from Life Church at 7:00am.  Then went to an all day conference.  It was great.  Really it was, I was able to reconnect with some great people.  I was encouraged to be a better minister to kids.  I also realized that I am getting near the saturation rate of topics covered at these kinds of seminars.  YES!  It is always good to be reminded to remind parents that they are the primary spiritual influencers in their child's life.  That we need to be really connecting with kids, that preschoolers are great people and need a special kind of connection.  Yet, I am much too aware of presentation styles, teaching styles, the way people learn, to stop evaluating the entire time I am sitting through a session.  Usually there is only a few things that I can say "I learned".  Part of that is that I love to learn, so I have learned a lot about my field.  Definitely not everything, but this was a conference directed mainly towards Sunday School pastors so it was at more of a basic level.  I did hear some great presenters/teachers today and was encouraged to grow in that area of my life.  Anyway, now I am home after church.  Was gone a total of 13 hours and since I am still fighting a cold I am done now. On top of all of that during the sermon tonight the pastor mentioned that Nathan who confronted David about his sin, had anointed him as a young boy.  Wait what?  Did Nathan and Samuel somehow merge into the same person?  So, I did mention that to him at the end of service, he seemed appreciative, but really, why must I be so aware of these things?  

First Wives Club

Tonight I watched First Wives Club for the first time.  I know.  I have issues with movies in that I don't watch many.  My friends Joe and Julie are working on remedying this problem.  I really enjoyed first wives club.  It was probably one of the better ones I have sat through in the last few months.  I have trouble with movies.  I love TV and books, movies though, I really have trouble loving.  I am working on this...

Brainstorming

Tonight I hung out with some great friends and worked on brainstorming for the next quarter of lessons that we are writing.  Tonight we hit the 4-6 year old lessons and among a few great ideas, we had a few crazy ones (don't worry none of these made the mark, but caused some laughter).  

My top four favorites 

 - Lock all the children in chains 

 - Draw a picture of the guard with his sword at his throat 

 - Take all the children up to the top of the building and throw them over and see who lives (See Acts 20.)

 - Have a child grab a red cloth and play bull fighting with all of the other children.  This, by the way had absolutely nothing to do with the lesson, but was probably the most random idea that any of us ever had. 

Now - don't you want us hanging out with your kids???

A busy Day

Today was a great Saturday, slept in, hung out for a while, did some errands and then worked on a decorating project.  I had some left over Ikea frames and a large wall that needed some extra love.  So, I bought some scrap booking paper and went to work.  I created five similar scenes, beach, palm tree and surfboards.  Then painted the frames and hung them on the wall...

Frame 1

Frame 2 - that is really a dark blue behind the palm tree not black...

The wall as it turned out.  

This is Annabelle, eating a giant plastic chewtoy fish that we bought her today.  It is kind of funny b/c it is way too big for her but they didn't have the smaller size.  So she has to move it with her paws by pushing it across the floor.  

She loves it though - it keeps her entertained for quite a while!

The normalcy of addiction

We work (my colleagues and I) at a small little office in a strip with a few other offices.  One of those places is a recovery center for alcohol addiction.  It seemed when I first began that the people I most noticed were the more eccentric people that came through.  I mean, when you hear the various, yelling, screaming, laughing, and crying in the bathroom on the other side of your office wall, you end up noticing the more interesting and outlandish...  Lately however either the demographic has changed, or God is opening my eyes.  The "normal" people at the center have seemed to increase.  These are the forty-fifty year old moms, the younger career type men,  the young guy who seems quite athletic.  There is the business woman, the older man, and everyone in between.  Lately if I didn't know better I would just think that some of these people are outside on their smoking breaks rather than trying to figure out how to overcome their addictions.  These people, including those who seem a bit more eccentric, have become more real to me over the last few weeks.  The idea that everyone has their struggles, that so many of us are good at hiding things.  This idea has begun to permeate who I am and how I look at the world.  Yes, they may not be quite as addictive or as "big" as drinking, but they are real in any case.  However, it demonstrates the importance of doing real life with others in the family of God.

New House Pics

So those of you who asked (1) here are some pics of my new house!  

The kitchen - the best part???   There is a sink in it - oh the things we take for granted - after a year of washing my dishes in the bathroom it is great to have a kitchen with an oven, a real stove and a sink!

Here is the living room.  The front door is just off to the right and the couch is facing a wall with a HUGE TV and a fireplace.

My room pic 1 - I made the quilt on my bed, it is not very wide (not much wider than you see) but it matches my surfer theme (I also made the throw pillow you see there)

Curtains and TV

The other side of my room.  My favorite part - my books!  There is a closet to the right along that wall and then the door is on the wall opposite the TV.  I love my new room!

A busy weekend

This has been a pretty crazy weekend.  Yesterday I moved - just across town, so it wasn't a big deal, but still took time.  My brother came down to help and my friends Meri and Matt helped as well, as of yesterday evening I was settled in.  I am probably more settled into my room than they are into theirs.  Then today kenny and I had a great day together.  We went to church but then realized that the sermon was on marriage.   Normally I would be ok with that, resigning myself to learning something from such sermons a long time ago - but we had not had breakfast and I was hungry, so we ditched.  We got up and went to breakfast and then came back to teach.  Once again we had lots of little ones - 20 to be exact.  Yet with him it did not seem so bad.  We were even able to break the kids into two groups to do Bible verse and some discussion time.  Then after church we headed to lunch and then to a couple stores for some quick shopping.  Once back to my new home we decided to go out skateboarding.  He has wanted to teach me how to ride his long board for quite some time and I wanted to learn, so we found a slight hill and tried it.  I didn't do bad according to him.  Ask my foot, hip and wrist and you might get a different story.  Then we came back to the house and played some Wii.  Rabbid TV is a pretty amazing game.  Now tomorrow is Monday and I can't believe the weekend is over.