Frustration

Today was church - I love being at my new church.  It has a great feeling about it.  I love that our pastors are around and always hanging out with people.  I love that there are some amazing parents who really love their kids.  I do get sad/frustrated/worn-out at times.  You see, our children's department is experiencing some growth - at least growth in the amount of children they have - not so much growth in the amount of helpers they have.  I have a model of ministry I believe in - it is some sort of a compilation between the values that were instilled in me at friends and the model children's worker of EGM.  All I know though is that the majority of those values are violated in so many ways during one of the Sunday Mornings that I have at my new church - it kills me!  I want to be able to lead experiential activities, I want the children to go home knowing the main idea of the lesson, not just the story.  (Although I am not even sure that was accomplished today)  I want the children to go home having responded to that real life truth, after a great real life discussion.  None of which were accomplished today.  I want to be safety conscious - to always have two adults in the room and not send children to the bathroom with just one other teacher.  I want to be relational and have the ability to be with the children rather than put out fires.   I want to have fun with the kids and really connect with the parents.  All of these things I want to be able to do.  Yet, with only one of me and 16 kids, those things just can't happen.  In the meant time I will continue to pray that more people will step up to fulfill these important roles in the lives of these amazing kids!

Why am I here?

Have you ever had one of those brief moments that jolts you out of your normally accepted life and puts you immediately into questioning what you are doing and why you are doing it?  I had prayed earlier this week because there is a huge part of me that misses living in Orange county, being with my family, being with my friends, etc.  so I had prayed that God would continue to move in me, showing me what I am doing and why I am here.  

Then tonight, I got a call...  The call made me really question why I am where I am.  I definitely feel as though God has called me to the place I am at.  That somehow this is for His glory and for my healing and sanctification.  He has given me many things out here that I had been longing for, for years.  So, as much as I want to disappear back out to the OC - I know that God is not done with me in this desert.  

I decided I would write out some of the things that I know God has called me to here.  

1.  I love the mission/vision/values of EGM.  I am not sure that I could be more aligned if I had written them myself.

2.  I love what I am doing.  There are many times when it is hard (just like every job) but God has called me to the world, not locally, and I can't deny that.

3.  I love the people I work with.  They have become family.  

4.  I love my church.  I really want to get involved and even more plugged in there.

5.  I know that God isn't calling me out yet.  He has a plan for my life out here that is clearly evident and I know that it is not time to turn-tail and run.  (As much as I would love to do that)

So, I don't know what is in store in a year and a half, for that will be when I am done with the big project I am working on.  There is a part of me I think that will always look for a way back to Orange County-to hope that around that time I get a similar phone call, but for now I am here.  Even then, I pray that God will direct me to be where he wants me to be and that He will grant me the grace to accept whatever place that is.  

Exhaustion

So, Sabrina is finally home.  Which is a great thing, but the bad thing is that they still don't know what is going on.  So, we are just hoping that whatever it was doesn't come back.

On the other side of life, the past few weeks have completely worn out myself and my family.  We (especially my mom, dad, and I) are pretty wiped out.  I can't remember when it was when I felt so exhausted last time.  So, pray that we will all get some rest and recover.  

Day Four part 2

Just talked to my mom, (I left around noon today).  She says that Sabrina is eating well and is doing a lot better, her pain is down.  The dr. came by and said that they are going to observe her overnight and wait to see what to do next.  

I am hoping that she will be fine, but I am also worried that they have not figured out what caused all of this in the first place.  Pray for wisdom for the Dr's and healing for Sabrina - I will update tomorrow once I get word.

Day four

This morning Sabrina had her colonoscopy. The doctor looked hard and took a couple samples just to be sure, but he said everything looked fine. According to the doctors yesterday, the next step is to do exploratory laprascopy. So far we haven't talked to her specialist today to figure out if that is still the case and if yes, when the surgery will be.

Right now she is in pain and sleeping, they had to use a lot of drugs to sedate her, apparently she has a high tolerance to the meds.

Sister Update

For any of you following along who would like a more detailed accounting, here it is.

I came to the hospital this afternoon (after a 24 hour hiatus) and relieved my mom. Since I have been here the GI doctor came asked a bunch of questions and ordered a colonoscopy tomorrow morning (pray for the prep for that as my sis is not looking forward to that!) Ruling out the colon as the problem. As they are worried about the endometriosis having spread to the colon or a possibility of crohn's disease.

Then we saw her endometriosis specialist. He went in search of her ultrasound results from this morning and then disappeared, so still no word from him. If the colon comes back clean, then it will be up to this guy to figure out what to do next.

Pray for peace for my family as we try to discover what the problem is. Pray for God's intervention in the mean time. Pray that the pain will subside and that she will be able to keep food down.

Pray for my sis

So, last week, my grandma was admitted to the hospital. After a few days of antibiotics and a couple of blood transfusions, she was released wednesday. She has been to a couple of follow up Dr's appointments and they think she may have a bleeding ulcer. Anyway, that is what transpired last week.
Last night my mom found my sister passed out in the hallway - she did not wake up right away, my mom had to shake her and yell her name to get her to wake up. Then she took her to the ER and while they were waiting she passed out again. They took her straight back and after they gave her a pain shot she "woke up" this time she panicked b/c she did not remember going to the ER room - she did not know how she got there, even though she was technically "awake" while my mom drove her and had even talked to the Docs while she was there. Anyway, they gave her the pain meds and released her. (Dumb doctors)
Today, she tried to get into her specialist, but couldn't so she went into see our general doc in the late afternoon. He checked her out and decided to admit her to the hospital, I think to control the pain tonight, moniter her, and most importantly run a whole gamment of tests tomorrow. Pray for her, pray for our family as my mom is still worn out from the grandma thing (her mom) and now my sis is in the hospital. Pray that they will soon figure out what is wrong.