Yesturday someone reminded me that we had known each other for one year today. This got me to thinking how I have grown in this year.
It has been an interesting year, one full of many blessings. It has also been a year of struggle and growth. I think that what I set out to do at this time last year has not been accomplished. I am trying to decide whether or not I have failed (what my mind jumps to immediately) or if the process is just much more in-depth and longer by nature than what I could have immagined. Of course, there are areas where I see progress, healthier relationships, better life style, etc. Either way, today I am feeling more discouraged than encouraged. Or rather a feeling of purposecd accaptance, that the plan and schedule God has me on is His, not mine, it is under His control, not mine, and in the meantime, I am pushing myself to do the things that aren't natural for me where I am, in order to try to pursue Him more. I think that I am trying to make the shift from, "I'll do this so that I will be able to have or be this" into "I WILL do this because it is right, it is what God asks of me, and it is an act of obedience no matter what the outcome." However, tha latter is scarrier and takes a lot more faith in the goodness of God.